Alan convinced Mike to travel across the world to Nepal with him. Proceeds to get parasite and shits pant. Friendship secured.

Last Kid Left At After School Daycare Club.

The cooler, older, brother.

As wee children, Katie and Tea made a wooden bench together. Katie's dad sat on it and it immediately broke.

Could navigate his way out of a black hole without any instructions or street signs.

Dreams of communes, mini trucks, and mini jet boats.

"Makes better mapo tofu than my mom" - Alan

Always seems to be too close to the camera for the yearbook photo

Ever vigilant in safeguarding Verdansk, a stalwart champion of its people, a beacon of heroism.

Professional hype man

Alan's in-house counsel from 2007-Present, keeping Alan out of trouble with the law.

A steward of Katie's cooking shenanigans. At Thanksgiving one year, they accidentally cooked a phallic beef wellington. Never again.

He'll charm your wits off if you're not too careful

He's engineering his way from one hobby to the next. Ask him about his bicycle and pacman machine.

Would let Alan into his dorm room so he could play Xbox, a true friend.

Leon's boss